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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?